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Merry Christmas from Fastuna

Maria Soroka
17 Dec 2020
Michaela Faber
Christmas bloopers. Nothing serious and completely COVID-free, just fun stuff. Caution: proceed with care! Our fun Xmas poll was so hilarious that you might laugh your socks off. Yes, I said socks :)))
Check out how Russians, Germans, Brits, Italians and Americans described their biggest Xmas bloopers! Look at their worst ever Xmas gift and their best Xmas gifts. So if you are out of ideas for a great gift, get inspired by people from all over the world.
So, the worst Xmas gift ever. Can you guess? Of course socks! This finding really made me blush. I used to give my dad socks for Christmas!
Did you know that the Germans were into buying land on the moon? Who has ever thought of that and who owns the moon to sell it?
I got a piece of land on the moon, — told us a guy from Germany.
How romantic! Not very practical though…
Here is our selection of the wackiest gifts
These horrific spandex pants with a pattern on them that would make you puke if you stared at them for more than 30 seconds. 
Thanks to this lovely woman from the States, I know what to give to my worst 'best friend' :)
When I was a child, I got a school satchel. I was so disappointed that I nearly hit Father Christmas over the head with it. — admitted a lady from Britain
Well, that's what I did when my hubby gave me the book called 'The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up' for Xmas!
Our aunt used to give us granny panties when we were teenagers. White cotton thongs with butterflies.
Hm. I wonder what else do the German grannies give to their granddaughters?!
Things to go on shoes to stop you slipping on snow… we never have snow.
Well, some parts of the UK do. You never know. So you'd better be prepared!
Underwear that was two sizes too small
Hmm, do I look too fat?!
A garden gnome dressed as Santa Claus.
...well, I thought all the garden gnomes were dressed like Santa?! Maybe not in Italy…
The gift was cut out of ice and there was no way to bring it to the apartment, although it was very beautiful.
Well with no shortage of ice in the winter, this is a great way of avoiding the crowds shopping for pressies.
Shampoo for a bald guy.
Maybe it was to say, never give up hope. One day you will need it! I must admit that once I bought this lovely bath foam for my friend. She didn't have a bathtub though…
An old friend got me a cheap earrings and necklace set and took the necklace out before wrapping to give to someone else. Yes the spot and holder for the necklace was in the packaging.
Oh well, sometimes I am missing words. This is nasty.
And of course socks. Socks. SOCKS!!! Can you imagine millions, billions of pairs of socks that people give to each other for Xmas?!
Ok, what about the best gift?
I sure remember my best gift for Christmas. When I was 11 years old I got a puppy, and I am not the only one to remember this as the best gift. I know it is so cliché but you would be surprised what some of the answers were. On top are definitely mobile phones followed by PlayStation and other gaming devices but there were more!
Here are our absolute favourites
Vibrator for a 60 y.e. lady from Germany
A handgun for a 63 y.o. man in US
'Conception of my son'. Apparently, this is a common theme. Those with birthdays in September, raise your hands!
'It was a gift from a stranger who learned about me and put together a nice gift that was very thoughtful'. Said 43 y.e. lady from the US. It sounds intriguing, isn’t it?
'The air of Berlin' for a young man from Germany. It sounds like they are very good at selling intangible goods over there in Germany!
'New front teeth' for 23 y.o.guy from the UK. Well, they say easy come, easy go.
The best Xmas bloopers
I remember the year when my 6 years old younger brother found out that Santa wasn’t real. My parents had booked a student to play Santa. He did a great job. My brother was well impressed. All until my mom offered Santa a glass of sparkling wine. In order to be able to drink it he had to pull down his beard. My sweet brother immediately recognised that Santa was indeed just a young dude in a costume and that was the end of him believing in it.
Check out our favorite Xmas stories and bloopers from respondents.
I found out that Father Christmas was my drunken uncle!
OMG! I would have been so proud. My uncle is Father Christmas. How cool would that be!
About 10 years ago we flew out on Christmas day to Father Christmas land with our daughter. It was just for the day but it was amazing and very cold. We went on a slay with huskies pulling it, met Father Christmas which my daughter loved and had a meal then flew back.
So sweet! As a kid I always dreamt about going there.
I fell drunk into the tree.
Well, that's quite a common theme… As well as a drunken Santa.
On New Year's Eve, a hamster bit me, while everyone was drinking champagne, I was disinfecting my finger with champagne.
Maybe she should have given that champagne to the hamster?!
Years ago, we had a duck instead of turkey for the first time. After saying grace, I went to carve the duck & it slid off the platter! Luckily one of my kids had fast hands & saved dinner.
The moral of the story is: never swap a turkey for a duck!
My husband fell into the pond in the garden
…and what happened then?!
That I called my grandfather fat by accident.
I am not sure I believe the 'by accident' part of the sentence…
I fell asleep in the middle of our Christmas celebration.
Is it about healthy nerves or too much alcohol?
And this is a gem from Russia! May there be Vodka at play? I want what this guy had!
I had a vision. The vision manifested itself at the moment of immersion in a different state. I saw the city of Peter, in a cave next to the main gate there was a cross with a human body, which had a ram’s head.
These are a few fun facts from our findings. If you want to learn more about Fastuna, please write to us: Michaela@fastuna.com; maria@fastuna.com.
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